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The Caucus Race (Alice version)
Alice floated through the tears in the bottle. The sun was rising and Alice could see what she had literally cried an ocean of tears. Just then, she heard someone singing. She turned and saw an unusual sight. It was a black crow wearing a brown bowler hat with a blue feather and a fuchsia ribbon, a fuchsia and lavender striped cravat, and a blue vest with a gold button. He also wears lavender spats and he was carrying a cigar. His name was Jim Crow. He was riding on a yellow cab named Benny and another crow name Lil' Urle was pushing him through the sea. Jim Crow began to sing again: Jim Crow: Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me How I love to sail on the bounding sea And I never, never ever For the weather never ever does a thing for me Oh, a sailor's life is the life for me Tiddley-um (honks his nose twice) Da dum dee-dee And I never, nev... "Ahoy! And other nautical expressions! Land ho, by Jove!" the crow shouted. Lil' Urle saluted him and said, "Where away, Jim Crow!" "Jim Crow?" Alice said to herself. "Three points to starboard," Jim Crow said. "Follow me, boys! Have you at port no time at all now, ha-ha! Oh!" "Mr. Jim Crow," Alice called. The two crows sail away, as he began to sing again: Jim Crow: Jo-ho-ho And a bottle of sea We love each time... "Please..." Alice called. "Please help me!" Just then, two men were riding on a boat. Their names were Jasper and Horace. "Um, pardon me, but, uh, would you minding helping me?" said Alice, but neither Jasper or Horace seemed to hear her. A canoe passed by. In it were three boys named Ed, Edd, and Eddy. Also in the boat were three animals named Simba, Timon, and Pumbaa. "Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Help me! Please! Help me!" she called. She stood up, causing the bottle to sink temporarily. "Help me!" Alice cried from underwater. The bottle resurfaced and she saw a group of toons on the shore. Lil' Urle, Simba, Timon, Pumbaa, Jasper, Horace, Eddy, Ed, and Double D were all running around a rock. Jim Crow was on top of the rock and singing: Jim Crow: Forward, backward, inward, outward Come and join the chase! All (except Alice): Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race Backward, forward, outward, inward Bottom to the top Never a beginning, there can never be a stop (The water starts to rise again and Jim Crow lifts up his campfire to prevent it from going out.) Jim Crow: To skipping, hopping, tripping Fancy free and gay I started it tomorrow and will finish yesterday! (The water lowers and, surprisingly, the runners are completely dry.) All (except Alice): Round and round and round we go And dance forevermore Once we were behind But now, we find we are... (Alice gets out of the bottle and a wave washes her to the beach.) Honest John: Forward, backward, inward, outward Come and join the chase! Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race. Backward... Jim Crow suddenly saw Alice and said, as he used a cigar to breathe in and out, "I say! You'll never get dry that way!" "Get dry?" asked Alice, as Lil' Urle bounced off her head. "Of course, little girl!" Jasper shouted. "You have to run with us, kid!" Timon shouted. "First rule of the caucus race!" Double D added. "But, how can I-?" Alice began, before she started to run. "Now, that's more like it!" Pumbaa said. "You'll be dry in no time!" Lil' Urle said. "But no one can ''ever ''get dry this way!" Alice said. "Nonsense!" Jim Crow said. "I'm as dry as a bone already!" "Yes, but-" Alice began, before a wave covered the group again. Alice saw Timothy washed up on the beach, riding in an umbrella. He turned it over and was drenched in water. "Alright, boys! Let's head now! Look lively!" The crow said. "The circus mouse!" Alice exclaimed. "Mister Mouse! Mi- Mister Mouse!" "Oh my goodness," Timothy yelled, as he ran off into the woods. "I'm late! I'm late!" "Oh, don't go away!" Alice shouted. "I'll be right back!" "I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Timothy said. As Alice ran after the mouse, she could still hear the crow talking. "Horace, don't step on my little brother!" Jim Crow shouted. "Double D, there won't you stop kicking Pumbaa! Eddy, Ed..." Category:Fan Fiction